A Day in the Life of... Care Leavers
2nd December 2016
I’ve been asked to write this blog. I’m not a good writer and Zachari has given me a lot of help. In fact, Zachari has had more contact with me in the last year than any of my previous workers or social worker. I’m 17 and I’m trying to get into college but like this writing I’ve not quite managed to fill out all the college forms and I’m not sure how I fill out these forms without losing any benefit. How many hours in college will I have to do? How many hours will I need to work if Iose my benefits? I keep putting off doing something, anything to move myself into a different situation. I feel a bit trapped and lost but not sure how I can get from A to B and what’ll happen or how I’ll feel in between A and B. How long will that take? Overnight? I don’t think so. I’m not sure I can live with so much uncertainty at the moment and whilst I have a roof over my head (I didn’t six months ago) I don’t want to rock the boat. I suppose I don’t need to think about it as it’s December and college doesn’t start again until august/September next year.
So, my days are full of so many options that I don’t know what to do, in what order when. So I don’t. I sit in coffee shops thinking about what I want to do with my life and I can’t even make a list because I don’t know what I would be allowed to do. (I also like sitting in coffee shops because it’s not as lonely as the flat - too big and a bit of a scary area).
Christmas is coming up. I’m in touch with my younger sister but she’s in a foster home where I’m clearly not allowed. I have a gob on me but I haven’t ever seen the woman and she’s made a whole load of assumptions about me based on what others say. So, I have to find my own space this Christmas. I’d love to see my sister but they wouldn’t bring her out to see me and I wouldn’t be allowed to go and see her.
I was asked to talk about a day in my life but to be honest it all melts into one and feels quite overwhelming. It’s all a bit of a blur. I want to keep this going but I’m not sure I could write another piece in the next couple of months but I feel happy that I’ve been able to say what I have. I don’t know if anyone is listening or reading this but I hope it helps someone.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Faye (age 17, Preston)
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